When we grow up on an environment that doesn’t make us feel safe and protected, our system creates mechanisms to provide that feeling for us – because safety and protection are necessary for our survival. Control is one of those mechanisms. Control help us to make sure that we are safe, by observing how external things react to the actions we take. It is the way that we learned to make sure that things are going our way, that will make us feel “safe” and that we are “getting what we need/want”. It is healthy to use control to guarantee that we are taking the necessary actions to get whatever/wherever we want. What is not healthy is the desire to control how others are reacting/behaving/thinking/feeling about us. It is not healthy to want to control how and when things will unfold after the necessary action was taken, because the only thing we can really control in our lives is ourselves and how we think/feel/behave/act.
When we try to control how things are unfolding in our life, we are taking the Universe’s role. When we try to control what people feel, think and act towards us, we are taking other people’s role. Taking everyone’s role It is a heavy duty to take and it burden us not only because it is a lot of work, but because the results are unlikely to be what we expect.
That’s when trust comes into place.
When we were raised in an environment that weren’t fulfilling our needs or expectations, we might feel resentful that people didn’t provide for us properly – or even the Divine – and that what causes the lack of trust. We feel like we can’t trust anyone, that we are the only ones that can really provide whatever we want – and that’s when we start to control every single thing in the Universe, to make sure that this time, we will get what we want. We do that when we can’t understand that even that frustration of not being provided our basic needs, was an opportunity given by the Divine for us to learn how to be independent, how to thrive, how to auto motivate ourselves, how to empower and stand up for ourselves, and sometimes others. The right thing is that we drop that behavior when these lessons are learned, but it doesn’t happen this way: most of the times we spent our lives feeling burdened, feeling that if we are not on top of everything, something will go wrong, slip through our fingers, that we will love that big opportunity.
I invite you today to drop all these burdens and concepts. I invite you to look back at your life and recognize that in many of the moments where you DIDN’T GET WHAT YOU WANTED; it was more a blessing than a curse. I invite you to analyze closely all the times where things didn’t go the way you expected and to see that what came after that was actually something much better, bigger, healthier than what you have planned.
I invite you to look at those moments of “failures” and consider that they were when the Universe was taking from you something you’ve thought that was good, to give you something AMAZING.
I invite you to look at those moments to see how protected and supported you have always been – even when you don’t think you are. I invite you to see that you have never been alone. That the Universe was always there for you.
This bring us to understand what trust is. Trust is when you understand that you can’t control others, that, the most intelligent and aware you are, you still can’t see ahead all the results and consequences of your actions like the Universe can. Trust is when you understand that you are taken care of and that things will have the best result for YOUR HIGHEST GOOD. Trust is when you understand that control is over. Control is all about you – your actions, your thoughts, your behaviors, your reactions. Trust is about others. It is about the Universe. You cannot control if someone is going to understand your reasons, but you can trust that your intentions are the best and whatever the result is, that energy will come back to you. You cannot control if that project will be successful, but you can trust that you’ve done all that you could to make it successful. Learn the limit of what is yours and what is not yours starts and finish and you’ll know when control becomes trust. You can control what is about you. What is not about you, you can only trust, have hope and faith. Let go of the burden of doing everything of your own. Give to the Universe what you have no power to do. You are only human. Allow the Universe to work together with you and to help with what you can’t control, by trusting that only the best for your highest good will be given to you.